Summer Lemonade – Happy July 4


The thoughtful people of the Texas Republican party issued its 2022 platform designed to reflect God, Guns, and White-Out. In case you missed it.

2022 Texas Republican Platform

Reject “the certified results of the 2020 Presidential election”
Abolish the constitutional power to levy income taxes
Reject the Equal Rights Amendment
End all gun safety measures
Abolish the Federal Reserve
Abolish the Department of Education
Arm teachers
Return Christianity to schools and government
Affirm that homosexuality is an abnormal lifestyle choice
End gay marriage
Withdraw from the United Nations
Withdraw from the World Health Organization

** Call for a vote for the people of Texas to determine
“Whether or not the State of Texas should reassert its status
as an independent nation.” 

Hi everyone, Hermione here … having a good summer?

I say go for it Texas – be your own country, go all right wing nut, and while we’re at it, lets’s add a few other states to your master plan as well – Louisiana, Oklahoma, and Florida come to mind. I mean go for it all, oh noble and wise longhorns … you have your own grid and we all saw how that worked out. No corruption or incompetence there, you know, being non-Federal and all.

Do you really believe that independence is the God-given right of everyone? After you talk to women about that, once you secede and move the capitol to Waco which I suggest you rename Wacko, will you allow Austin to secede from Texas and become independent as well?

What about what you teach in your schools – will you rewrite the history of the Alamo so Jesus wins? As you become an independent oil-savvy nation, will you join OPEC? Are the rumors true that after independence, you want to buy Mexico because it costs less than you expected?

In case you do secede, here are a few new planks to consider –

** Guns for Peace swap – submit a handgun/get an AR 15
** People who own land get one and a half votes
** Pass the “Suck It Up Initiative” – outlaw divorce
** Yearly re-registering during Jesus Week to qualify for voting
** Award medals to Uvalde police for protecting each other
** Finance a (wall) hanging of Nancy Pelosi in the State Senate
** Outlaw all contraception except chastity belts
** Ban foreign languages
** Elect Clarence Thomas president of Texas